So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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