How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
