did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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