There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
