On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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