he shaved USA in his pubs
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Sorry my hands just texted you
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
