Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize