we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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