Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
