i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
