Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
