her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
