I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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