But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
