she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It was confusing and full of hummus
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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