we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
