I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
