i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
