return my video game
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
