Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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