my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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