Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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