I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
