We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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