come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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