i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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