I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
