yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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