so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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