All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
