My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
