he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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