it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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