Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Your cock deserves a montage
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize