I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
