I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
