I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
