he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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