problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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