Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
