i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
