Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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