We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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