Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
