Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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