I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Randomize
