Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
then he tried to convert me to islam
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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