I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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