Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
