Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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