You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize