i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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