You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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