He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
