Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
