So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
