Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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