Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
