That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
it's great music for shaving your balls
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
