I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
